My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
