Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
