thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
