I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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