their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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