i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
