Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
