you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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