bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
