she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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