If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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