ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
