I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
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