I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The adults are the big ones right?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
