Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i think im in europe. pls send help
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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