She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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