I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
