you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
