It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
