It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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