his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
