So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
one might say we're banned from that church
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
