Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
