you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
