So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
