Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That accounts for only three of the penises
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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