i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
