ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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