Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
