Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
