So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
