i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The beer is more important than you right now.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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