I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
