Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
