just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize