Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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