I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
