Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize