ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize