i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize