he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
