She said her name was "party"
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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