I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
