yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
