at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize