How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
