Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I puked a lego.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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