I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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