Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
