He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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