you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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