ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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