talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
