I feel like abortions should bother me more
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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