No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
