Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
