Who wears a wallet chain?!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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