Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
