Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
