Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
