I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
