What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
