sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
