I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
