I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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