oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
