i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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