hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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