Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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