the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
