Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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