What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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