what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
