My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
