Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
