i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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