He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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