Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
