1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize