Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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