Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
