he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize