Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
