i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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