just tell him i said nine months
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Randomize
