It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
time to smoke my breakfast
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
