Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
