Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We are two peas in an std pod
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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